Shades of Grey

Grey or Gray? There is a load of opinions when it comes down to which one to use. Either way ...you know what I'm talking about. What is Grey? A color? A feeling? Actually, it describes the lightness between the extremes of black and white. There are lots of shades of grey. Staind uses the number 14, but I prefer to use many, many more. The world does not see in black and white my friends. We live in a world where color matters more than anyone thinks or wishes to believe. In that colorful world there are shades of grey. Grey areas are the issues that mean most to a person. It is what drives human beings. It is their quest for the truth. There are two types of people in the world. The ones who choose to see the grey areas and thus make decisions based on emotions, feelings, and individual circumstances and the others, who only see the world in black and white, right or wrong, and choose to judge people, when in reality.....no one has the right to judge another person.

I'm reading a book right now. It is called Nineteen Minutes. It has a lot of legal stuff in it. Lawyers and judges. It also deals with a professor who teaches the equation of "happiness". Can you believe that? The equation of HAPPINESS. After you break down the mathematics of the complicated "wording", it seems so simple.... H= R/E happiness equals reality divided by expectation. The professor also has variables. People who are married are happier than singles, people who have more money are also happier. Happiness is even U shaped. You are really happy when you are really young and really old, which means that you are most miserable in your 40's. And when you inverted the equation - expectation divided by reality- you get hope. Okay....in the book...it makes everything really complicated, but the totally twisted part is that the person who defined happiness....he is very unfortunate. Ironic. It's the psychic being hit by the lightning. Anyway...I am about half way done with it so I will post my feelings on it later.

"Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it." Thomas Fuller

Mind Fu*k

So once again it has been a while since I have written. Here's an update on my world.

It has been what?...2 weeks since school has been out. I have been pretty busy and strangely enough relaxing at the same time. I signed up for salsa classes (but have no partner....anyone interested?) I had signed up for belly dance too but the class changed to interfere with salsa so I'm going to go to pump for the belly dance lessons. I have been working out more at pump. I like it. I love the classes.

I went to the beach this past weekend. It was so much fun. I got some color finally....but I also got a little sunburn.

I have played poker twice. It was pretty fun. The first time I started out really good, then some one played with my mind, and lost after the break. The second time, I just really wasn't in the mood. I have always liked playing poker but have never been very good at it. I think its because I would rather just watch. I get really nervous when I play. When I get a really good hand, my adrenaline goes up and I start to shake....lol.....I really can't play poker.

I have seen several movies. Surfs up.....another penguin movie...and Shrek the Third. I love those types of movies. I can't wait for Ratatouille to come out.

I went to another one of those Mary Kay meetings. I got to be a "face model". I took before and after pictures and got entered in some kind of competition. Haven't heard anything yet, but it was cool to experiment with makeup and their new brushes.

I have shopped a lot since school has been out. The first time was to get some shorts and a bikini for the beach. I just HAD to get the new towels, ice chest, cool water, and the beach bag to complete the ensemble. I also got to try out my new portable hammock at the beach. The set up time was awesome...just two moves. I think that's how I got my sunburn....lol...oh well.

The second shopping splurge was at the beach. I bought a skirt, a dress, and some very sexy brown high heels. The dress is very different. It is a teal green (which by the way, matches my bathing suit) with white embroidered flowers. It has ruffles on the neckline and hem. It looks very "summer". I can't wait to wear it out on a date.

I went to one wedding. Annie got married on Friday the 8th. It was very lovely. She looked incredibly happy and I wish her all the luck (not that she needs it). Cindy's wedding is this Saturday and if I can find the invitation that I misplaced, I will be going.

I can't remember when I have ever woken up before 8. So, all in all, this summer vacation has been great.

Yesterday and today, I am working with the group Danzforce formerly Kelly's Centerstage. They are a great group of girls. They love to dance and are very talented. I have missed them since I stopped working at Kelly's.

I will keep writing but it wont be like before....it will just serve as documenting what I will be doing over the summer.

End of the Year

Wow ...a lot has happened this past week. On Tuesday I went out with Steve. We went to Texas Roadhouse. It was fun. We caught up on each others lives. On Wednesday and Thursday night I stayed up late trying to finish my grade book. Since I had not received one during the year, I haven't been keeping up with it. That leaves me with an entire year of work I had to do. With the help of Steven and many skipped meals, I finished at 2 in the afternoon on Friday.

I am skipping ahead of myself....

Thursday was the last day of school for the students. What a day. The students decided to have a food fight on the last day. They started sending text messages and warning other students. I didn't actually get to see the food fight but I heard and saw the aftermath. It was incredible. Teachers who were supposed to be on duty just stood there. Others got hit. I heard our principal got hit too. LOL.

Friday: Like I said...I finished my grade book at 2 then worked on my lesson plans. Afterwards I had to run around like a busy little bee to get signatures on my sign out sheet. I didn't even know half the people on the sheet so that was a bit hard. I finished and signed out before 4:25. I shook my principals hand and she smiled and that was that. I do regret some of the friendships I will be leaving behind. Jason has yet to call. This makes me a little sad. I expected more. Oh well.

Early Saturday I answered the door. Big mistake. I got myself into a whole heap of trouble. Long story short: I lost internet for a weekend, telephone lines were cut, I am out 100 dollars and cried. Never answer the door on a Sat. It will never be good. That night I went to my co-workers house to play poker. She works at a middle school. I started out really slow. Not really winning or losing much, then I got dealt some really good hands. I started winning and at some point I was in the lead. We decided to take a break after the first person lost. During that time Coty proceeded to tell me that central office was thinking of firing both me and Linda. This got me really worried. She told me to go and fight for my job at central office. To talk to some people. My philosophy is that if someone doesn't want me to work for them, I am not going to fight it. They don't know what they are giving up. Needless to say, I played horrible after that. I got home and text Linda, my mom, and my dad. I got them worried too(not on purpose) and then I couldn't sleep.

Sunday I called to confirm this gossip, and found out that it was all just a rumor. My job is safe....for now. That's when I realized that my internet was down. After going to church I slept and thought about how my first official day of vacation would turn out.

First official day of Vacation: Woke up at 8 since my body is used to it. Called 2 security systems, the phone company and several voice systems. Finally after a lot of tears, I fix the damn thing myself and reconnect my telephone lines. The rest I am not even going to worry about.

Need a change

I needed to change my blog...so here it is....it will take some time to get everything from the first one to the new one ...but it will work

Going to a differnt blog ...see you there!

hey everyone...if your clever enough to figure this out then you deserve to keep on reading....see you later.... www.erika-silva.blogspot.com

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". Neil Gaiman