"You increase your joy by increasing the pure joy of others."
Torkom Saraydarian (1917-1997) scholar and sacred music composer
The hurdles have been jumped. The semester is over. It's only Wednesday, and I feel exhausted. It was the longest week ever. Sunday night I prepared to teach the kick routine for competition, only I didn't. I cut the music Sunday afternoon, then had things to do at night. By the time I got home, it was late and I knew I wasn't going to be able to think and "write". I went to bed telling myself that I can do it during my lunch hour. Monday was horrible. I woke up late, first of all, and second of all I forgot my phone at home (because I was rushing). So instead of eating during my lunch time, I rushed home to get my cell phone, then when I was "supposed" to be at lunch duty, I hid in my room and frantically tried to come up with as much as I could. I got to about half way done, when the bell rang for my 5th period to start. Luckily, they were taking a final, which meant that after they were done, I had approximately 5-10 mins. to work on the piece. School ended at 4:30 and I worked until 4:50 to try to finish the dance. I wrote about 6 pages down and left some spots open, but it was finished. I quickly ran over to start teaching at 5:00. I had never in my life been so pressured and nervous to teach a stupid dance. Every year for the past three years, I have taught the kick routine at La Joya. I have always said it was a pleasure to work with them, because they are so talented. That has not been a lie. I always gave them my best. They have gotten hundreds of compliments at competition and on the field. Which meant that this year I was going to have to live up to every ones standards and hopefully go beyond. I guess that is why I was so nervous. Nevertheless the dance is good. It has room for improvement, but that is what practice is for.
After that, I left early to rush to another practice of my own. A week ago I agreed to perform with the Dorados at a basketball game for Edinburg. I graduated from Edinburg, so going back is always a plus.....turns out that it wasn't. I am not in shape. I have recently been going to the gym to prepare for tryouts in Jan. but to dance a week later, i was not prepared for. Out of the three dances we did, I only remembered one of them. One because I was in Washington, D.C. at the time and the other because I learned when I had come back (I was placed in the back, and didn't need to remember the dance, because I was looking at the people in front of me...bad dancer...lol). So I pretty much needed to learn a min routine and a halftime routine in one night and perform the next day. I thank Christina for having patience with me. :) I got home around 9:30.
I still need to eat dinner and start my grades. Grades were due the next morning and if any one is or was a teacher...you can sympathize. I stayed up until 2:30 to finish. It would have gone much faster if I wasn't watching a movie at the time. I finally saw The Devil wears Prada. It was good, but I have some opinions about the ending.
The next day...I dressed up and took my secret elf gift to school. We were supposed to have a luncheon on Tuesday to reveal our secret elfs and give them their gifts. Turns out that the fine arts luncheon was also that day at the same time as was the Jewelette Christmas party. I was planning on going to the fine arts for half an hour, arriving at Jimmy Carter for the gift exchange and quickly going to the drill team party to finish off my day there. Yea....plans...I hate making plans because they never seem to go the way I want. As I was walking to the school (my classroom is in a different building than the rest of school) to leave my gift, just in case I didn't get back in time, I entered and got stopped right in my tracks. The party was in the middle of school with table and chairs all set up. There were two serving tables filled with food, buffet style. Everyone was there. You know that feeling of nervousness on the first day of high school, when you walk into the cafeteria and don't know a soul.....well de ja vu....that feeling was there for me. Instead of being brave and finding a friend ....I turned around and exited the way I came. I was going to go to the fine arts banquet, where at least I knew someone. Nope. Plans didn't work out. I got locked out of my building. I tried going around ....but none of the doors were unlocked. I don't have a key...so I had to shamelessly go back to the faculty party.
Turns out I found someone I knew and she made me feel comfortable. Mrs. Contreas (my principal) played Santa and passed out the secret elf gifts. At my other campus we personally gave our secret elf our final gift revealing who we were....here Mrs. Contreas passed out the gifts ....I didn't know I was supposed to put my name on it. I wrote...To: Ms. Glenda Kneblick From: Your Secret Elf......When I saw her receive her gift she looked at the card and then opened the present. I was watching from across the room. Luckily she was standing up as she opened her gift so I didn't look like a total stalker. She opened her gift and pulled out the cds first. She looked happy and passed them around the table. Then she opened her box. She pulled out the ceramic kitty (she loves cats) and from lip reading I heard her say ...."Oh, its a picture frame!" She then passed that around her table as well. I saw her eyes scan around the room wondering who had given her the gift. I then considered leaving it a secret, but she packed up her things and started wandering around the room. She was looking for her secret elf. I kept my eyes on her the entire time. She then came close to me ...and a table next to mine asked her what she got. She then started to show the ladies and as they were asking, "Who gave it to you?"...her eyes fell on mine. She raised her eye brows and asked, "Was it you?" All I could do was smile and nod my head....she must have asked me several times ...because I had to keep nodding yes. She then started to tell me that she loved the cds and how did I know she loved cats ...then she asked me to go to her ....she wanted to show me something. I walked over to her, and she opened her bag. "Look!" , she showed everyone sitting near us all the items I had given her over the past week. She took out everything and told me that when she was stressed that she takes everything out and holds it and it makes her feel better. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around her and tell her that I was so grateful that someone appreciated me. After a terrible semester, of moving around...getting hurt....being in an accident...and after that terrible feeling of being alone at school...that it was nice to know that someone, somewhere appreciated me. Even if it was of the silly little stuffed animals I gave her. She said, "I would hug you, but I'm very sick and don't want to get you sick as well"......I told her I didn't care and gave her a big hug.
That night, I had to go home and get ready for the basketball performance. I haven't put that much makeup on and actually fixed my hair in about 4 months (and that's because someone else used to do it for me). It took some time, but I managed to look nice. I arrived late as usual, but I was actually the 2nd one there. The basketball game was so unprofessional. Everything went wrong. We practiced three routines. One for in between the 1st and 2nd quarter, one for half time, and one for in between the 3rd and 4th quarter. The dj told us that there was already someone for the first time out. No biggie, one less dance to worry about. Halftime came. We performed and looked stupid, because the dj turned off our halftime routine early. As me and Daisy started to get up to "cheer" off the court...he continued it from where he left off. The volume was low. People weren't watching. In fact, we could hear them talking. It made us mad. All of us are used to the football games, where people stay quiet when we dance. Or at least turn up the music so we don't hear them. When we ran out for our last dance, he played the wrong song, making us start late, so they kept ringing the buzzer to let us know that our time was up and to get off the court. Looks like we are never going to Edinburg again. Not unless they have their sh!t together.
Its finally the last day of school. We had a field day. I got to play softball, students vs. teachers. I hit the ball. Yea me! That pretty much concludes the last day of school. Hopefully they will let us leave early. Either way....Im sneaking out. Marty arrives today and I cant wait to see him. I know he is tired and probably asleep right now. He finished his finals and the last two papers he need to write. I am so proud of him.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
No Jingle Bells!
Just a few more days and school will be over. I just have to jump over some hurdles before everything will come to an end. Its after 10 on a Sunday night and I am barely printing out my final for my students. Turns out that I "thought" I saved the file to my pen drive...but I didn't. It was to my computer. I also need to make up my dance routine that I am supposed to teach tomorrow. I always leave these things to the end. I wish that I didn't, but I always end up doing it no matter how hard I try. Hopefully I will be able to stay awake tonight to finish. I have had some practice on that area lately.
There was a parade this past Saturday. The drill team had to march. I guess that meant that the directors had to march as well. As I recall, my director never walked with us during the parade. She was always waiting for us on the other side. Maybe it was because the Edinburg parade was a lot longer walk and she was a bit older. It was hot. The girls were in windpants and very uncomfortable. The whole thing started an hour and a half late. Did it really matter who went first? From what I could see there were two floats and our band, colorguard, drill team, a little old couple in a funny car, and maybe a middle school team. We waved at the dogs in the yards. Some wanted to kill us. Others, just watch. There was even a wedding or a Quinceanera ("15th birthday") going on at a church and all the people turned around to watch. To be quite honest, the whole thing was a little sad, and silly. First of all, La Joya is one street. The expressway. Well we couldn't just close that off could we? So, someone randomly picked a road close to the school and we literally walked to the river. LOL. Or it felt like it. I did get my name called out, which was embarrasing.
Marty comes to the valley on Wednesday. I have been really looking foward to it, and now its finally here. Just a few more days.
Not looking forward to the beginning of the week, but very much looking forward to the end of the week.
There was a parade this past Saturday. The drill team had to march. I guess that meant that the directors had to march as well. As I recall, my director never walked with us during the parade. She was always waiting for us on the other side. Maybe it was because the Edinburg parade was a lot longer walk and she was a bit older. It was hot. The girls were in windpants and very uncomfortable. The whole thing started an hour and a half late. Did it really matter who went first? From what I could see there were two floats and our band, colorguard, drill team, a little old couple in a funny car, and maybe a middle school team. We waved at the dogs in the yards. Some wanted to kill us. Others, just watch. There was even a wedding or a Quinceanera ("15th birthday") going on at a church and all the people turned around to watch. To be quite honest, the whole thing was a little sad, and silly. First of all, La Joya is one street. The expressway. Well we couldn't just close that off could we? So, someone randomly picked a road close to the school and we literally walked to the river. LOL. Or it felt like it. I did get my name called out, which was embarrasing.
Marty comes to the valley on Wednesday. I have been really looking foward to it, and now its finally here. Just a few more days.
Not looking forward to the beginning of the week, but very much looking forward to the end of the week.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Secret Elf
I seriously need to catch up on writing.
Testing is over finally. Thank goodness. I swear if one more person had mistaken me for a student, I probably would have lost it. The weekend came and went. I spent most of Saturday in bed. I need to start my Christmas shopping. My promise to myself: No more spending an entire day in pj's! I did however get up early to teach a group of 3-5 year olds a cheer routine. (But I went back to bed) Now this is something new for me. I have never done cheer before. I have seen it and gone to competition before, so im not totally without. It was pretty fun. I had forgotten what it was like to work with 3 and 4 year olds. I swear to work with kids is just good for your soul. Especially at that age. I left the gym feeling very happy. Not because of the work I did (which turned out to be quite good), but because of the way you have to present your self to kids. It’s almost as if you’re putting on a show for them. It’s amazing.
On Sunday I helped make tamales at my grandma’s house. It’s something that happens once every year. Another tradition. I usually help out a little, but this year was extra special. Usually the adult women (my aunts, mom, and grandmother) are the ones who work. Everyone has their own job. [A lot of the words are in Spanish, and for the lack of my knowledge on how to spell things in Spanish ....im going to simply use English, so bear with me] One person cleans and soaks the Oujas (corn husks), one person spreads the masa on the corn husk, another rolls the meat in the tamale, another puts them into pots and steams them, another packs them in dozens. There are a total of 9 women that split up these jobs. This year there were 10. I helped out. My job was to clean and soak the corn husks. I stood the entire time, which left my back in pain. I arrived at 9:30 in the morning and left around 4:30. With two breaks, and what must have been at least a thousand tamales later, I was beat. I must say that I did get to bond with my grandma more, which was a big plus. I heard lots of gossip and got to inform people of what I wanted for Christmas. All in all, I had a very good time. I can only hope that the tradition will be passed down to my children. There was talk of no longer doing it, or not doing as many. I really hope that doesn't happen. [It was nice to be appreciated, thanks Richie.]
I also started the last full week of school, which seems to be crawling by. My dance tech. students performed at the Fall Dance Concert Recital for La Joya. Every school brings dance classes to perform. My students did an excellent job. Congratulations! I am happy that this year, I was a lot more calm and stress-free. I guess teaching high school has its advantages. I noticed a lot of stressed-out-looking middle school teachers. My students were just great. There was this one time where I thought I lost them. I looked everywhere for them. Just before I started to panic, they found me and stated that they were outside practicing. This made me even more proud.
I woke up this morning feeling like a terrible person. I had forgotten my secret elf. Yesterday, after school we were given our secret elf. Starting the next day for a week, we were to give a $1.00 gift to that person, then present them with the real gift on Wed. of next week. With the concert on my top priority, it totally slipped my mind. Thank goodness for lunch hours. I made it up in the afternoon. Hopefully she was happy.
After school, I headed over to Roger and Norma's house (My Dad's co-worker and friend) where my parents were. They were making steak and invited me over. I got to see their beautiful new house. We even played pool. I lost. I hate to lose. I blame it on not playing with my pool stick.
One last note: It has come to my knowledge that more and more people are reading this blog. I hope that I have not offended anyone with my comments, or opinions. It's just a one sided story. To be quite honest, it is my life. You can choose to read it, or you can simply close the window. If you like what I write then great, but i'm not doing this for anyone else but myself. It helps to let things out, even if it is just words on a webpage.
Testing is over finally. Thank goodness. I swear if one more person had mistaken me for a student, I probably would have lost it. The weekend came and went. I spent most of Saturday in bed. I need to start my Christmas shopping. My promise to myself: No more spending an entire day in pj's! I did however get up early to teach a group of 3-5 year olds a cheer routine. (But I went back to bed) Now this is something new for me. I have never done cheer before. I have seen it and gone to competition before, so im not totally without. It was pretty fun. I had forgotten what it was like to work with 3 and 4 year olds. I swear to work with kids is just good for your soul. Especially at that age. I left the gym feeling very happy. Not because of the work I did (which turned out to be quite good), but because of the way you have to present your self to kids. It’s almost as if you’re putting on a show for them. It’s amazing.
On Sunday I helped make tamales at my grandma’s house. It’s something that happens once every year. Another tradition. I usually help out a little, but this year was extra special. Usually the adult women (my aunts, mom, and grandmother) are the ones who work. Everyone has their own job. [A lot of the words are in Spanish, and for the lack of my knowledge on how to spell things in Spanish ....im going to simply use English, so bear with me] One person cleans and soaks the Oujas (corn husks), one person spreads the masa on the corn husk, another rolls the meat in the tamale, another puts them into pots and steams them, another packs them in dozens. There are a total of 9 women that split up these jobs. This year there were 10. I helped out. My job was to clean and soak the corn husks. I stood the entire time, which left my back in pain. I arrived at 9:30 in the morning and left around 4:30. With two breaks, and what must have been at least a thousand tamales later, I was beat. I must say that I did get to bond with my grandma more, which was a big plus. I heard lots of gossip and got to inform people of what I wanted for Christmas. All in all, I had a very good time. I can only hope that the tradition will be passed down to my children. There was talk of no longer doing it, or not doing as many. I really hope that doesn't happen. [It was nice to be appreciated, thanks Richie.]
I also started the last full week of school, which seems to be crawling by. My dance tech. students performed at the Fall Dance Concert Recital for La Joya. Every school brings dance classes to perform. My students did an excellent job. Congratulations! I am happy that this year, I was a lot more calm and stress-free. I guess teaching high school has its advantages. I noticed a lot of stressed-out-looking middle school teachers. My students were just great. There was this one time where I thought I lost them. I looked everywhere for them. Just before I started to panic, they found me and stated that they were outside practicing. This made me even more proud.
I woke up this morning feeling like a terrible person. I had forgotten my secret elf. Yesterday, after school we were given our secret elf. Starting the next day for a week, we were to give a $1.00 gift to that person, then present them with the real gift on Wed. of next week. With the concert on my top priority, it totally slipped my mind. Thank goodness for lunch hours. I made it up in the afternoon. Hopefully she was happy.
After school, I headed over to Roger and Norma's house (My Dad's co-worker and friend) where my parents were. They were making steak and invited me over. I got to see their beautiful new house. We even played pool. I lost. I hate to lose. I blame it on not playing with my pool stick.
One last note: It has come to my knowledge that more and more people are reading this blog. I hope that I have not offended anyone with my comments, or opinions. It's just a one sided story. To be quite honest, it is my life. You can choose to read it, or you can simply close the window. If you like what I write then great, but i'm not doing this for anyone else but myself. It helps to let things out, even if it is just words on a webpage.
Friday, December 8, 2006
Benchmark Testing
I am feeling a little bit better now. I had a full nights sleep. I don't feel as tired as I did yesterday. I did have to cancel the solo private I had scheduled for yesterday. Its actually the last one as far as me teaching it to her. The rest is the easy part, cleaning it up. The students are bench mark testing. This means they practice taking different tests in order to help them prepare for the taks test coming up next semester. It also gives the faculty a chance to practice administering the tests. Since I am not a core teacher, they gave me the job of a procter. This means I have to sit outside a group of doors and help the teachers out whenever needed. For example, if a teacher needs more pencils, i have to run upstairs and get some. If a teacher needs to locate a missing student, I do it. If the teacher needs a bathroom break, I watch the class. You get the picture. [As much as I complain, this is loads better than last year. Last year, at my old school, all the classes were located outside. This meant that all the procters were sitting outside in the cold and rain, freezing to death. Wow, it wasn't that long ago, but it feels like forever.] There are also scheduled 15 min. breaks and lunch breaks that the teachers take, in which I relieve them. My first day, I guess I read the (very confusing) schedule and mix up my lunch break with my teacher that is assigned to me. Opps. My bad. I got in trouble the next day. The next day, everything runs smoothly. The third day, one of my assigned teachers decides he is going to take a 25 min break instead of 15, which makes me late for my other teachers. Again, I get in trouble. Seems like I can't do anything right these days. I hate getting in trouble. I had never received a "memo" until I came to the High School. I still don't think it was fair either. I got a memo for missing a safety meeting. I missed the meeting because I had my wisdom teeth pulled out. Geez, you would think that would excuse me, but it didn't. I got the memo anyway. There are other reasons as to why I feel like im not myself these days. It's good to know that in two weeks, school will be out and Christmas will be here.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
The Accident
I haven’t gotten a chance to write in a few days. I can only hope that this will help things get better…
I was coming home from work. I left school right on time, which means the traffic was not bad. Turns out that earlier in the day I had left my purse at home. When I realized this, it was too late to go home and get it. My first thought was….I better drive the speed limit, my second thought was I better not have an accident, and my third thought was…how am I going to eat lunch? Luckily I had six dollars in my desk, which I used to buy my meal.
Back to my accident…
So I was on my way home, and almost there when it happened… About a block away from my house I stopped behind a black SUV at a red light. When the light turned green, and I saw him start to move, I started to move, then I looked down for a brief moment. That’s all that it took. A second. In a flash I had hit him. The collision wasn’t even that bad. I thought we would move to the side and exchange phone numbers or something. Reminder: This was my first accident. But instead, he got off his SUV and started to inspect the damage. I got off and quickly called 911. [Now I thought that the 911 operators were supposed to calm and soothe a person in trouble. This shows how little I know about accidents. First, I couldn’t hear him, and when I could hear him, he yelled at me. Not very nice] I looked at his car first. Unbelievably, his vehicle was fine. Not even a dent. That’s when I noticed the steam coming from my car. I turned around and it was all I could do to keep the tears from streaming down my face. My beautiful Land Rover was caved in so that it looked like a broken smile with braces hanging down. The man I hit suggested we move off the street before we cause another accident. It was a miracle that my car was drivable. The police came and made a report. Turns out the guy I hit had his wife and kids in the car with him. This made me feel even worse. I managed to keep control and call my dad as soon as possible. I needed him to go to my house and pick up my license that the cop needed. He came and picked up my remote control, and as soon as I saw him, he asked if I was ok. I was ok, …until he asked me. I wanted to break down so bad, but he raised his eyebrows and said to stop. I don’t think my dad likes to see us cry. So, I held it in. My dads’ friend really helped us out a lot. He came and picked up my car and is going to help me fix it. He owns his own car lot. With my dads help I got into a rental car before six o’clock. As soon as we were on our way to pick up the car, I asked if I could “fall apart” now. I did. I cried finally. But not totally….I was still with my dad. He was worried that I would not be able to drive home, so I had to control myself even longer. I got home and in the comfort of my pillows, I let it out. I cried so hard that I had to gasp for air. I was so scared. There were children in the car. Someone could have been hurt. Seriously hurt. My mind was somewhere else when I was driving.
I was actually thinking of how much I was going to allow myself to spend on Christmas presents. I was thinking about money. I was thinking how I was going to pay off my credit card. BAM! Another expense.
I know it has nothing to do with the accident but after I got home, I noticed I wasn’t wearing my cross. I’m not sure why I didn’t have it, but it was another reason why I didn’t go to sleep feeling ok.
My parents called an hour later, and explained that they were on their way with dinner. I know it was because they didn’t want me to be alone. We talked about accidents in general and about different topics. It made me feel a little better, but I still took a Tylenol to relieve the headache I had from crying. They left and I sat on the couch and talked to Marty about the evening. As I was talking to Marty, my back started to cramp up. I couldn’t walk or move or bend. I took a muscle relax-er. It was probably not the best idea. It relaxed my back, but I had trouble sleeping. I felt dizzy and nauseated. When I finally did get to sleep, I woke up an hour later crying from the most awful dream.
I know this is getting to be a novel…but if you are reading this you can totally stop and get back to doing whatever you were doing. I just need to get this out of my head. I can’t take another sleepless night.
The Dream…….
It was actually a continuation from my accident. After my accident, my dad drove me to enterprise to rent a car. This is where it started to change. They gave me a very fast sports car. Stick shift. I have driven a stick shift before but even in my dream, I was shaky. I actually avoided several other accidents. We were on our way to my grandmas house (I was following my dad) and as I started to get in the turning lane, a car cut me off and ran the red. I came to a stop. Just then a news reporter drove up beside me and asked me to pull over. They wanted to interview me and ask why I was driving so fast. I tried to explain that it wasn’t my car, and that it wasn’t me that was driving so fast, but they didn’t believe me. They tried to get my story straight but when they couldn’t understand me, they started yelling at me. After they let me leave, I wanted to take back roads so that I wouldn’t call attention to myself. It got suddenly very dark, and I started passing a lot of gangs. People saw the car and tried to chase me for it. The car somehow turned into a futuristic silver hover glider thingy. I could run on foot or be pulled by the car. I kept turning and taking different pathways trying my hardest to get to my grandma’s house. A girl up ahead saw me and cut me off. It was then that the stupid car wouldn’t work. She caught me and tried to beat me up. I tried to defend myself and in doing so I ended up killing her. A headline flashed in my dream “you take the dead with you” and suddenly I became her. I was chasing myself. I was haunting myself. I could still feel the panic that someone was chasing me…but I was watching myself run. I hovered over and into the house before my human self could. I hid on top of a dresser that was located in my grandmother’s room (where I knew my human self would go). As I heard myself come inside panting and running ….I prepared to pounce. I saw the top of my head run inside and I started to float down. Just when my human self looked up and screamed, I screamed and woke myself up. I felt as though someone did take over my body. I was sweating and my chest was heaving. I cried yet again. I sat up and sobbed and sobbed. I didn’t know why. Don’t ask me why. I still don’t know. What I did know is that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I couldn’t because I know from experience that sometimes we just go back to the same dream over and over. I couldn’t. I woke up from my dream at four in the morning. I stayed up. In the dark. Eyes open, because if I closed them I was afraid. Afraid from the day. Afraid that I might fall back asleep.
Needless to say, I am dragging today. I still feel uneasy, but at least I don’t have people asking if I am “okay”. No one knows here at school. It’s better that way. I considered taking half the day off to go home and sleep, but decided against it. I’m still scared to sleep.
I was coming home from work. I left school right on time, which means the traffic was not bad. Turns out that earlier in the day I had left my purse at home. When I realized this, it was too late to go home and get it. My first thought was….I better drive the speed limit, my second thought was I better not have an accident, and my third thought was…how am I going to eat lunch? Luckily I had six dollars in my desk, which I used to buy my meal.
Back to my accident…
So I was on my way home, and almost there when it happened… About a block away from my house I stopped behind a black SUV at a red light. When the light turned green, and I saw him start to move, I started to move, then I looked down for a brief moment. That’s all that it took. A second. In a flash I had hit him. The collision wasn’t even that bad. I thought we would move to the side and exchange phone numbers or something. Reminder: This was my first accident. But instead, he got off his SUV and started to inspect the damage. I got off and quickly called 911. [Now I thought that the 911 operators were supposed to calm and soothe a person in trouble. This shows how little I know about accidents. First, I couldn’t hear him, and when I could hear him, he yelled at me. Not very nice] I looked at his car first. Unbelievably, his vehicle was fine. Not even a dent. That’s when I noticed the steam coming from my car. I turned around and it was all I could do to keep the tears from streaming down my face. My beautiful Land Rover was caved in so that it looked like a broken smile with braces hanging down. The man I hit suggested we move off the street before we cause another accident. It was a miracle that my car was drivable. The police came and made a report. Turns out the guy I hit had his wife and kids in the car with him. This made me feel even worse. I managed to keep control and call my dad as soon as possible. I needed him to go to my house and pick up my license that the cop needed. He came and picked up my remote control, and as soon as I saw him, he asked if I was ok. I was ok, …until he asked me. I wanted to break down so bad, but he raised his eyebrows and said to stop. I don’t think my dad likes to see us cry. So, I held it in. My dads’ friend really helped us out a lot. He came and picked up my car and is going to help me fix it. He owns his own car lot. With my dads help I got into a rental car before six o’clock. As soon as we were on our way to pick up the car, I asked if I could “fall apart” now. I did. I cried finally. But not totally….I was still with my dad. He was worried that I would not be able to drive home, so I had to control myself even longer. I got home and in the comfort of my pillows, I let it out. I cried so hard that I had to gasp for air. I was so scared. There were children in the car. Someone could have been hurt. Seriously hurt. My mind was somewhere else when I was driving.
I was actually thinking of how much I was going to allow myself to spend on Christmas presents. I was thinking about money. I was thinking how I was going to pay off my credit card. BAM! Another expense.
I know it has nothing to do with the accident but after I got home, I noticed I wasn’t wearing my cross. I’m not sure why I didn’t have it, but it was another reason why I didn’t go to sleep feeling ok.
My parents called an hour later, and explained that they were on their way with dinner. I know it was because they didn’t want me to be alone. We talked about accidents in general and about different topics. It made me feel a little better, but I still took a Tylenol to relieve the headache I had from crying. They left and I sat on the couch and talked to Marty about the evening. As I was talking to Marty, my back started to cramp up. I couldn’t walk or move or bend. I took a muscle relax-er. It was probably not the best idea. It relaxed my back, but I had trouble sleeping. I felt dizzy and nauseated. When I finally did get to sleep, I woke up an hour later crying from the most awful dream.
I know this is getting to be a novel…but if you are reading this you can totally stop and get back to doing whatever you were doing. I just need to get this out of my head. I can’t take another sleepless night.
The Dream…….
It was actually a continuation from my accident. After my accident, my dad drove me to enterprise to rent a car. This is where it started to change. They gave me a very fast sports car. Stick shift. I have driven a stick shift before but even in my dream, I was shaky. I actually avoided several other accidents. We were on our way to my grandmas house (I was following my dad) and as I started to get in the turning lane, a car cut me off and ran the red. I came to a stop. Just then a news reporter drove up beside me and asked me to pull over. They wanted to interview me and ask why I was driving so fast. I tried to explain that it wasn’t my car, and that it wasn’t me that was driving so fast, but they didn’t believe me. They tried to get my story straight but when they couldn’t understand me, they started yelling at me. After they let me leave, I wanted to take back roads so that I wouldn’t call attention to myself. It got suddenly very dark, and I started passing a lot of gangs. People saw the car and tried to chase me for it. The car somehow turned into a futuristic silver hover glider thingy. I could run on foot or be pulled by the car. I kept turning and taking different pathways trying my hardest to get to my grandma’s house. A girl up ahead saw me and cut me off. It was then that the stupid car wouldn’t work. She caught me and tried to beat me up. I tried to defend myself and in doing so I ended up killing her. A headline flashed in my dream “you take the dead with you” and suddenly I became her. I was chasing myself. I was haunting myself. I could still feel the panic that someone was chasing me…but I was watching myself run. I hovered over and into the house before my human self could. I hid on top of a dresser that was located in my grandmother’s room (where I knew my human self would go). As I heard myself come inside panting and running ….I prepared to pounce. I saw the top of my head run inside and I started to float down. Just when my human self looked up and screamed, I screamed and woke myself up. I felt as though someone did take over my body. I was sweating and my chest was heaving. I cried yet again. I sat up and sobbed and sobbed. I didn’t know why. Don’t ask me why. I still don’t know. What I did know is that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I couldn’t because I know from experience that sometimes we just go back to the same dream over and over. I couldn’t. I woke up from my dream at four in the morning. I stayed up. In the dark. Eyes open, because if I closed them I was afraid. Afraid from the day. Afraid that I might fall back asleep.
Needless to say, I am dragging today. I still feel uneasy, but at least I don’t have people asking if I am “okay”. No one knows here at school. It’s better that way. I considered taking half the day off to go home and sleep, but decided against it. I’m still scared to sleep.
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Traditions
I am really sad that my squarespace is ending in 7 days. It was only a trial account and if I want to continue using it, I have to pay. Seeing as how I don't have any money right now, it seems like im going to have to stick with blogger. What I liked about squarespace was the simplicity of it all. It had easy to follow directions and pop up information. It would let me post from school which is a big plus. I had pictures up. It had spell check for me. It let me put things in bold and italic. Im sure blogger lets a person do some of these things too, its just that I haven't figured it out.
Today I went out and bought a Christmas tree. I recently got paid, so I finally had the money to do it. I had ornaments, garland, and a tree skirt that I had purchased a few months ago. All that was missing was a tree. Instead of going store to store to find the perfect tree, I did my homework online. I found that Lowes had higher prices but did offer a free home delivery service (which was benifical to me, seeing as I had no way to get the tree to my house), Target had some good prices, but the best one was at Home Depot. The closest Home Depot store is actually only a block away from my house, which seemed perfect. Now I had to figure out a way to get the tree to my house. Instead of calling someone to ask to borrow a truck, like my Mom advised my to do, I took the back seats out of my little suv. I figured thats what they were made for, and it turned out to be quite easy. My plan would have worked out perfectly if it hadn't been for the "sold out" 9 ft. slim Douglas fir 800 light tree at Home Depot. No biggie. I went across the street to Target where my back-up tree waited for me. I had planed on a 7.5 ft. tree...but when I was there I found an 8 ft. with a 10 year guarantee. It was fifty dollars more than the 9 ft. I had originally wanted, but it came with a free $25 target giftcard. I picked up several other items that I needed: a Christmas cd, mini "marsh-pillows" (<~~~like when I was little), hot chocolate, and a door wreath. I was homeward bound. It was raining. If you have read my other blogs, you would remember that I recently washed my car. Im not one of those people who always have to have a clean washed car. In fact, im the exact opposite. If only I hadn't invested so much time, I would have been able to park my car and walk away. But I didn't. I actually got down and dried it off. It still looks good. :)
So, a little back story of what it is like to spend Christmas with me. I usually am the one to start to put up the tree. Every year my I would make my family turn off all t.v.'s in the house and put on Christmas music, and drink hot chocoalte, and assemble the tree. They hated me for it. I would decorate the outside of the house to look like a house right out of one of those cheesy Christmas movies. Complete with candy canes, gingerbread men, and a customized garden sign that let everybodys know that "The Silva's" live here. The past few years I have been busy, so we have not had a tree for some time (or at least a decorated one), but thats a different story.
This is my first year away from home, and in my very own house. I wanted to continue my little tradition, even if it is by myself. I set up my tree, and played Christmas music (for a while) and after I finsh this blog I am going to make a cup of hot chocolate and sit on my couch and enjoy my accomplishment. I must say that it looks beautiful. The colors are gold and purple. My favorite color is purple and anyone who knows me, knows that. Its only fitting that I have a purple tree. I have to figure out a way to make my kitties leave the tree alone. I think they think, its a great big toy for them. Another thing I realized is that the entire tree is from Target. I mean everything...the tree itself, the garland, and every ornament. It could be an photographed for an ad.
I had a hard time deciding whether or not to buy a tree. I haven't been doing so well with money lately. In fact, I owe a lot on a credit card. The money used to buy the tree would have been a great help to pay some of it off. I had to really think what about my decision. I wanted to buy the tree, but it would be "right" to but the money in the bank. Someone told me that I should do what I wanted. To do what made me happy. To be honest, both would have made me happy in its own way. When I woke up this morning, I made up my mind to buy the tree. I love Christmas. The last few years I haven't had a tree. I missed it. I realized that having a tree would make me happy, in a way that saving money couldn't.
....................It's now Sunday. I choose not to finish my blog for various reasons....but I am pleased to note, as I am washing clothes here at my parents house, my parents are out right now buying a Christmas tree! Looks like I inspired them. LOL...Im just happy, and thankful that they are getting into the holiday spirit together.
Other topics.....
I am an emotional person. I get angry and you know. I get sad and you know. My Mom tells me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I can't help it. I cry when I get angry. I don't think well when im hurt or angry. I react and then I step back and look at what I have done. It is something that I have tried to fix before, and I truly thought that I had gotten better. I know the right thing to do is to think before you react. I know this, but sometimes my feelings and emotions get the best of me. I sometimes think "why would anyone want to change this about me?" This is who I am. If I wasn't so emotional, would I be able to love, or care about people or issues as much as I do now? Would my heart over time, learn to become cold and bitter? I have often said "I wish I didn't care so much...because then it wouldn't hurt". I have thought about this over and over. Physical pain is your body's way of communicating with you. Then wouldn't emotional pain be your spiritual's way of letting you release and realize that you are in fact human? Isn't that what separates us from other lifeforms on this plant? Our emotions and our communication? If I had the choice to be over emotional or cold as ice, I would choose to be over emotional. Without a doubt. I love. I hurt. I get angry. I am happy. This is me, it always will be, ....and you know what?.....I hope it always is.
Today I went out and bought a Christmas tree. I recently got paid, so I finally had the money to do it. I had ornaments, garland, and a tree skirt that I had purchased a few months ago. All that was missing was a tree. Instead of going store to store to find the perfect tree, I did my homework online. I found that Lowes had higher prices but did offer a free home delivery service (which was benifical to me, seeing as I had no way to get the tree to my house), Target had some good prices, but the best one was at Home Depot. The closest Home Depot store is actually only a block away from my house, which seemed perfect. Now I had to figure out a way to get the tree to my house. Instead of calling someone to ask to borrow a truck, like my Mom advised my to do, I took the back seats out of my little suv. I figured thats what they were made for, and it turned out to be quite easy. My plan would have worked out perfectly if it hadn't been for the "sold out" 9 ft. slim Douglas fir 800 light tree at Home Depot. No biggie. I went across the street to Target where my back-up tree waited for me. I had planed on a 7.5 ft. tree...but when I was there I found an 8 ft. with a 10 year guarantee. It was fifty dollars more than the 9 ft. I had originally wanted, but it came with a free $25 target giftcard. I picked up several other items that I needed: a Christmas cd, mini "marsh-pillows" (<~~~like when I was little), hot chocolate, and a door wreath. I was homeward bound. It was raining. If you have read my other blogs, you would remember that I recently washed my car. Im not one of those people who always have to have a clean washed car. In fact, im the exact opposite. If only I hadn't invested so much time, I would have been able to park my car and walk away. But I didn't. I actually got down and dried it off. It still looks good. :)
So, a little back story of what it is like to spend Christmas with me. I usually am the one to start to put up the tree. Every year my I would make my family turn off all t.v.'s in the house and put on Christmas music, and drink hot chocoalte, and assemble the tree. They hated me for it. I would decorate the outside of the house to look like a house right out of one of those cheesy Christmas movies. Complete with candy canes, gingerbread men, and a customized garden sign that let everybodys know that "The Silva's" live here. The past few years I have been busy, so we have not had a tree for some time (or at least a decorated one), but thats a different story.
This is my first year away from home, and in my very own house. I wanted to continue my little tradition, even if it is by myself. I set up my tree, and played Christmas music (for a while) and after I finsh this blog I am going to make a cup of hot chocolate and sit on my couch and enjoy my accomplishment. I must say that it looks beautiful. The colors are gold and purple. My favorite color is purple and anyone who knows me, knows that. Its only fitting that I have a purple tree. I have to figure out a way to make my kitties leave the tree alone. I think they think, its a great big toy for them. Another thing I realized is that the entire tree is from Target. I mean everything...the tree itself, the garland, and every ornament. It could be an photographed for an ad.
I had a hard time deciding whether or not to buy a tree. I haven't been doing so well with money lately. In fact, I owe a lot on a credit card. The money used to buy the tree would have been a great help to pay some of it off. I had to really think what about my decision. I wanted to buy the tree, but it would be "right" to but the money in the bank. Someone told me that I should do what I wanted. To do what made me happy. To be honest, both would have made me happy in its own way. When I woke up this morning, I made up my mind to buy the tree. I love Christmas. The last few years I haven't had a tree. I missed it. I realized that having a tree would make me happy, in a way that saving money couldn't.
....................It's now Sunday. I choose not to finish my blog for various reasons....but I am pleased to note, as I am washing clothes here at my parents house, my parents are out right now buying a Christmas tree! Looks like I inspired them. LOL...Im just happy, and thankful that they are getting into the holiday spirit together.
Other topics.....
I am an emotional person. I get angry and you know. I get sad and you know. My Mom tells me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I can't help it. I cry when I get angry. I don't think well when im hurt or angry. I react and then I step back and look at what I have done. It is something that I have tried to fix before, and I truly thought that I had gotten better. I know the right thing to do is to think before you react. I know this, but sometimes my feelings and emotions get the best of me. I sometimes think "why would anyone want to change this about me?" This is who I am. If I wasn't so emotional, would I be able to love, or care about people or issues as much as I do now? Would my heart over time, learn to become cold and bitter? I have often said "I wish I didn't care so much...because then it wouldn't hurt". I have thought about this over and over. Physical pain is your body's way of communicating with you. Then wouldn't emotional pain be your spiritual's way of letting you release and realize that you are in fact human? Isn't that what separates us from other lifeforms on this plant? Our emotions and our communication? If I had the choice to be over emotional or cold as ice, I would choose to be over emotional. Without a doubt. I love. I hurt. I get angry. I am happy. This is me, it always will be, ....and you know what?.....I hope it always is.
Friday, December 1, 2006
Christmas Roses
My day started off in a rush. First of all I got up really really late. I jumped out of bed, brushed my teeth, practically threw on clothes, and ran out the door. Luckily I had taken a shower the night before. Rushing.
Either way, Fridays in La Joya are not bad at all. Every other week is a skills test. On the days that the students are not testing, I like to give them a "catch up" day. It means that whoever was absent during the week (and so many of them are) get to ask questions and catch up to the point where the rest of the class is. This also gives me a chance to finish any paperwork or other errands I need to do. Today was a "catch up" day. I didn't get to choreograph the solos I had been scheduled to teach today, so I did that during passing periods. I know what your thinking. A dance teacher who makes up dances in-between classes? The dance must be either be A: Bad or B: Easy. I know, its horrible to wait to the last minute to make up something that someone is paying you do you. They depend on you so they can "win at Nationals" or "dance like an angel for their 15th birthday". I know. Sometimes I think I might do an even better job when I am being pressured. It's probably just an excuse, but that's what I believe. Rushing.
I also forgot that I "okay-ed" my classroom being used for this weekend Band UIL competition. The directors wanted to come and set up after school. They asked me on Monday, and I said of course knowing that Friday I usually book it out of La Joya as fast as I can. Only......that on Wednesday....I scheduled a private for that day. They both arrive at my door at exactly the same time. I explain to the director that I will only be 15 mins. I promise. I explain to Daisy that I will teach as fast as I can. She is really supposed to have an hours worth of time to learn the part that I was going to teach today. Again...rushing.
I wish I could say that I "rushed" home. Nope. It was as if the traffic was crawling particularly slowly today. I was lucky to have some company to make the time pass by.
So I got home and this is what makes my day. I walk inside my door and I see a familiar package on the kitchen counter. My housemate must have answered the door and brought them inside because the package was placed where we always leave stuff for each other. I am still on the phone when I open them. The smell hits me first ....roses. Roses always have the most distinct smell. A familiar vase is also in the package. It was meant to replace the one that Jasper broke. Now, let me explain.....the package was very deceiving....its was wrapped so tightly that I could pull out the bouquet with one hand. It had a very clever wrapping. The bouquet was assembled so that when you open it you would have to roll it out just like a roll of paint bushes or something. Each and every rose was placed so carefully and so thoughtfully. Every color was just right. Two complete roses of 12 roses lay in front of me. The pattern was amazing. It wasn't until Marty told me that they were Christmas Roses that I understood. They were meant to look like Christmas lights. And they did. Beautiful Christmas lights! 24 long stemmed roses!
I must add that I feel like I didn't deserve them....but it certainly made my day.
Either way, Fridays in La Joya are not bad at all. Every other week is a skills test. On the days that the students are not testing, I like to give them a "catch up" day. It means that whoever was absent during the week (and so many of them are) get to ask questions and catch up to the point where the rest of the class is. This also gives me a chance to finish any paperwork or other errands I need to do. Today was a "catch up" day. I didn't get to choreograph the solos I had been scheduled to teach today, so I did that during passing periods. I know what your thinking. A dance teacher who makes up dances in-between classes? The dance must be either be A: Bad or B: Easy. I know, its horrible to wait to the last minute to make up something that someone is paying you do you. They depend on you so they can "win at Nationals" or "dance like an angel for their 15th birthday". I know. Sometimes I think I might do an even better job when I am being pressured. It's probably just an excuse, but that's what I believe. Rushing.
I also forgot that I "okay-ed" my classroom being used for this weekend Band UIL competition. The directors wanted to come and set up after school. They asked me on Monday, and I said of course knowing that Friday I usually book it out of La Joya as fast as I can. Only......that on Wednesday....I scheduled a private for that day. They both arrive at my door at exactly the same time. I explain to the director that I will only be 15 mins. I promise. I explain to Daisy that I will teach as fast as I can. She is really supposed to have an hours worth of time to learn the part that I was going to teach today. Again...rushing.
I wish I could say that I "rushed" home. Nope. It was as if the traffic was crawling particularly slowly today. I was lucky to have some company to make the time pass by.
So I got home and this is what makes my day. I walk inside my door and I see a familiar package on the kitchen counter. My housemate must have answered the door and brought them inside because the package was placed where we always leave stuff for each other. I am still on the phone when I open them. The smell hits me first ....roses. Roses always have the most distinct smell. A familiar vase is also in the package. It was meant to replace the one that Jasper broke. Now, let me explain.....the package was very deceiving....its was wrapped so tightly that I could pull out the bouquet with one hand. It had a very clever wrapping. The bouquet was assembled so that when you open it you would have to roll it out just like a roll of paint bushes or something. Each and every rose was placed so carefully and so thoughtfully. Every color was just right. Two complete roses of 12 roses lay in front of me. The pattern was amazing. It wasn't until Marty told me that they were Christmas Roses that I understood. They were meant to look like Christmas lights. And they did. Beautiful Christmas lights! 24 long stemmed roses!
I must add that I feel like I didn't deserve them....but it certainly made my day.
It's Cold!!!!
Burr, it's cold outside. I woke up this morning, got dressed and went to school. One hour later, kids come running into my classroom to tell me to go outside. It's beautiful. Dark, windy, and cold......the kind of weather that leaves you wanting to go inside with that special someone, snuggle under the covers, drink hot chocolate, and watch your favorite show together. Only that I can't. I have to work.
My first class is starting to get on my nerves. They are becoming lazy, and developing attitudes that I could live without. My second period just leaves me laughing all the time....except when that "favorite" student is there.....then it is something different. My third is getting better. I really like the students in that class. They are characters. Last year I used to dread the afternoon classes. This year, I find myself looking forward to teaching my afternoon classes. They are much bigger than the morning ones, but are much more eager to learn.
The drill team has practice today. They are starting to learn their competition routines. My friend Rocio teaches the jazz today. My other friend, Diana teaches on Monday...and I am scheduled to teach on Thursday. Lets hope I finish.
I got to watch a marathon of Heros yesterday. Lol.....its pretty funny skipping around. I got a lot of my questions answered. The final episode for the year is Monday. I can't wait. It turned out to be a pretty good show....although I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I had seen it from the beginning. I still think I missed the very first episode. Oh well...what can you do?
Tomorrow is Friday. You would think a person would be dying to get home as soon as possible. Nope, not me. I scheduled a solo private for tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, I know.
My first class is starting to get on my nerves. They are becoming lazy, and developing attitudes that I could live without. My second period just leaves me laughing all the time....except when that "favorite" student is there.....then it is something different. My third is getting better. I really like the students in that class. They are characters. Last year I used to dread the afternoon classes. This year, I find myself looking forward to teaching my afternoon classes. They are much bigger than the morning ones, but are much more eager to learn.
The drill team has practice today. They are starting to learn their competition routines. My friend Rocio teaches the jazz today. My other friend, Diana teaches on Monday...and I am scheduled to teach on Thursday. Lets hope I finish.
I got to watch a marathon of Heros yesterday. Lol.....its pretty funny skipping around. I got a lot of my questions answered. The final episode for the year is Monday. I can't wait. It turned out to be a pretty good show....although I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I had seen it from the beginning. I still think I missed the very first episode. Oh well...what can you do?
Tomorrow is Friday. You would think a person would be dying to get home as soon as possible. Nope, not me. I scheduled a solo private for tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, I know.
Moving Along
Okay last night I felt really uneasy. I got online and went to practically every website that I normally visit. Still feeling uneasy, I started downloading music. Then I realized that I have two solos to teach tomorrow, so maybe I should use my time more wisely. I started choreographing and then I stood up and tried what I had. I also realized that I hadn't stretched yet. So I did. Then I realized ....I'm still hurt...but said to myself that "It must be the carpet which doesn't allow me to turn" ...so I put on ballet shoes. As I was walking back and forth across the house from room to room...I realized that the cat litter had developed a very awful odor. So, in my ballet shoes, I started to clean the cat room. I washed their food and water bowls, swept and mopped the area, cleaned their placemat, changed the litter, filters, and washed out the inside of the cat box...(can you tell I had a lot of energy to burn?) Then I went back to the computer room and finished one dance, and started on the other. I pace myself so that my choreography doesn't look the same, so that I don't feel overwhelmed, and so my that my dancers can soak up the steps. It was around 12:15 a.m. when I got the urge to go to pump and work out. I felt like I needed to run. Just run. Then I thought about the next morning....and how I would feel. So I didn't. I took a shower and climbed in bed. I feel asleep right away. I didn't even get to put my phone on its charger. Today I am dragging. I feel like I did run. My hamstrings are sore. No practice again today....but I have another solo to teach. Tonight: A real workout and a soak in my very own hot tub.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Problems
Seems like the paper work never stops.....I feel like I have accomplished so much already and it is barely Tuesday...and already I have another load. Costumes. Something that takes me forever to decide on. I like to have the dancers input on a particular costume, but very rarely can you make 50 girls happy. This stems from me being indecisive. People get frustrated with me when I cant decide on something. I sometimes think that they should just choose, that way we both can be happy. I wouldn't want someone to do something, eat somewhere, or wear something simply because I want them to. Then only one person will be happy...ME...and while that might work a few times....for the most part it leaves the other person unhappy.
Some funny stuff went down this morning and I was bombarded with phone calls. First, at a home game a few weeks back, during our half time show, a cd malfunctioned and the girls couldn't perform. Sure they got to dance onto the field, but the show alas couldn't go on. This is not to say that I didn't have a back up. YES, I had a back up cd. Yes, I tried it. And what happened? Same result. It sounded like an old tape that had gone into fast forward. After our backup failed, our girls walked off the field. Embarrassing, I know, but it wasn't their fault. An entire two weeks goes by. I almost forget the entire situation happened...until today. I receive a phone call explaining that a "concerned parent" is questioning our slip up. Concerned parent my ass! Don't people have anything better to do than make trouble for other people? I mean come on....the cd messed up....AND the backup cd messed up. Was I supposed to pull another radio out of my pocket? Or how about a new cd? He stated that the anonymous parent stated "Why weren't the directors doing their job?" "Didn't they test the cd before the game?" My very first game that I went to....I went up to the sound booth and asked to see if I could check the cd. I was told that "they don't do that", and "everything will be fine". Everything was fine. For games and games, everything was fine. Until the last home game. Geez, it wasn't even the last game. The girls got to dance the same dance at a different game anyway, so what did it matter? But, obviously it does. I'm tired of having to deal with ignorant parents. Can't they just be normal? I know mine were!
Okay....so I let out a little steam. Okay, a lot. But this is what a blog is for right?
Something I wasn't apart of......This morning during practice a person went into the drill team locker room and stole phones, clothing, shoes, money, ipods, jeans, tops, purses ....you name it ...it was gone. Girls had to go to school in leotards because their blouses were missing. The police were contacted and reports are being made.....but guess who's fault it is? THE DIRECTORS! Yes, ladies and gentleman.....the school is actually blaming this on the director. Not the person who stole the stuff, not even the stupid girls who brought the ipod to school in the first place (which by the way is not allowed), no the director is to blame. I'm sorry...I thought teachers jobs were to teach and monitor the students! Not their belongings. I didn't know that we were supposed to be security guards and computer technicians as well.
Its now the end of the school day and I feel really good....All my classes liked the new dance I am teaching. I washed my car yesterday. It felt really good. I was actually trying to decide between going to work out or wash my car and I figured I choose the lesser of two. I don't always wash my car, but when I do, I do a very good job....details and everything. I know how. Yes there is a process to washing a car. I even bought that Mr. Clean car wash thingy to try it out. Not to bad. It wasn't everything the add claimed ...but did help with the drying part. I have another day off. Looks like i am going to work out today. At school I am happy. At home....well at home...I feel .....not so happy. There is only so much t.v. a person can watch. Maybe I am a work-a-holic all along...and the laziness feeling is just my body trying to play catch up.
Some funny stuff went down this morning and I was bombarded with phone calls. First, at a home game a few weeks back, during our half time show, a cd malfunctioned and the girls couldn't perform. Sure they got to dance onto the field, but the show alas couldn't go on. This is not to say that I didn't have a back up. YES, I had a back up cd. Yes, I tried it. And what happened? Same result. It sounded like an old tape that had gone into fast forward. After our backup failed, our girls walked off the field. Embarrassing, I know, but it wasn't their fault. An entire two weeks goes by. I almost forget the entire situation happened...until today. I receive a phone call explaining that a "concerned parent" is questioning our slip up. Concerned parent my ass! Don't people have anything better to do than make trouble for other people? I mean come on....the cd messed up....AND the backup cd messed up. Was I supposed to pull another radio out of my pocket? Or how about a new cd? He stated that the anonymous parent stated "Why weren't the directors doing their job?" "Didn't they test the cd before the game?" My very first game that I went to....I went up to the sound booth and asked to see if I could check the cd. I was told that "they don't do that", and "everything will be fine". Everything was fine. For games and games, everything was fine. Until the last home game. Geez, it wasn't even the last game. The girls got to dance the same dance at a different game anyway, so what did it matter? But, obviously it does. I'm tired of having to deal with ignorant parents. Can't they just be normal? I know mine were!
Okay....so I let out a little steam. Okay, a lot. But this is what a blog is for right?
Something I wasn't apart of......This morning during practice a person went into the drill team locker room and stole phones, clothing, shoes, money, ipods, jeans, tops, purses ....you name it ...it was gone. Girls had to go to school in leotards because their blouses were missing. The police were contacted and reports are being made.....but guess who's fault it is? THE DIRECTORS! Yes, ladies and gentleman.....the school is actually blaming this on the director. Not the person who stole the stuff, not even the stupid girls who brought the ipod to school in the first place (which by the way is not allowed), no the director is to blame. I'm sorry...I thought teachers jobs were to teach and monitor the students! Not their belongings. I didn't know that we were supposed to be security guards and computer technicians as well.
Its now the end of the school day and I feel really good....All my classes liked the new dance I am teaching. I washed my car yesterday. It felt really good. I was actually trying to decide between going to work out or wash my car and I figured I choose the lesser of two. I don't always wash my car, but when I do, I do a very good job....details and everything. I know how. Yes there is a process to washing a car. I even bought that Mr. Clean car wash thingy to try it out. Not to bad. It wasn't everything the add claimed ...but did help with the drying part. I have another day off. Looks like i am going to work out today. At school I am happy. At home....well at home...I feel .....not so happy. There is only so much t.v. a person can watch. Maybe I am a work-a-holic all along...and the laziness feeling is just my body trying to play catch up.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Louder Than Words
Artist: Unsung Zeros
Album: Moments From Mourning
Title: Louder Than Words
Pin this one last
because it was the hardest
Yet it meant the most to me at the same time
Feelings are tough to explain
when what i feel is bigger than any word that i can find
[Chorus:]
So i wrote you this song
To tell you i love you
But I know that thats much less than you deserve
It's all so much less
Then these feelings i'm feeling
I hope my actions speak louder than words
Call me whenever, and i will come running
I'm ready and waiting for ever for you
I'll give you my whole heart
To hold as your keepsake
If you should ever need proof
Remembering the times that we spent together
I know how good it feels to be in your arms
Im always so happy and filled up with laughter
when ever i'm with you i feel safe and warm
[Chorus]
I love this song! Download it and listen to it. Now imagine me dancing to it!
Album: Moments From Mourning
Title: Louder Than Words
Pin this one last
because it was the hardest
Yet it meant the most to me at the same time
Feelings are tough to explain
when what i feel is bigger than any word that i can find
[Chorus:]
So i wrote you this song
To tell you i love you
But I know that thats much less than you deserve
It's all so much less
Then these feelings i'm feeling
I hope my actions speak louder than words
Call me whenever, and i will come running
I'm ready and waiting for ever for you
I'll give you my whole heart
To hold as your keepsake
If you should ever need proof
Remembering the times that we spent together
I know how good it feels to be in your arms
Im always so happy and filled up with laughter
when ever i'm with you i feel safe and warm
[Chorus]
I love this song! Download it and listen to it. Now imagine me dancing to it!
Give Thanks
It feels like this thanksgiving holiday came and went. Marty, Lana, and Roland all came down to the valley. I havent seen Roland in forever, but he still looks the same. I just got back 3 weeks ago from a trip where I got to see Lana and Marty. I feel like like I can never get enough of Marty....I guess thats a good thing :) I finally got to play pool with him. I also got to visit with his family and his friends. That was fun. He even went to the high school football game with me, which I know was a sacrifice for him. I got to see alot of my family again and even got a new god sister. I think thats number 3? I saw my aunt who recently had surgery. It turned out to be a lot worse then I thought. The cancer spread to her lymph nodes which had to be removed. She is going to have radiation and chemo therapy. Despite the bad news, she is sure everything is going to work out. I told her about starting a blog so that we could keep in touch....but she said she likes email better. I had lunch on one of my "off" days (cant remember which one..they all seem to "blur") with my mom, dad and sister. I like those times....we all get to catch up on each others lives. Lana is coming home soon....and is now plannig an internship in South America...go Lana!.....cant wait to visit you there. My Dad is very happy with his new job. Or should I say "old job"? I thought I was being a bad daughter by not knowing where her dad works...but it turns out that it is right next to were he used to work. After our lunch together, the girls went to this new clothing store called Warehouse. Turns out it is owned by someone we all know. The clothes are awsome and the prices arent bad as well. The store is owned by sisters....Im not sure if I could ever "own" anything with my sister.....Come to think of it...Im not sure if I could ever "own" anything with anyone ...so I guess if I ever HAD to "own" something with someone...I would want it to be with her.....Yea anyways.....I also went to the mall to shop. A new Sephora finally opened up and I was literally dying to go. I love makeup. I think if I didn't teach dance..I would love to be a makeup artist. Im not bad...self taught....I would love to go to the workshops and learn the latest techniques and so on.....I bought a brush set. Its awsome! Its mostly for the eyes ....and I have already used it.....Ask any girl...the secret is in the brushes! I also bought a perfume which I think I might be allergic to. Im not sure, but I need to find out. At the store I tested it on a paper stick. At home my skin turned red. I have heard of people being allergic to perfume before...but I had never been one of those people. It could have been something else. I also spent money at VS and at AE. My other two favorite stores. Looks like im starving till my next paycheck.
I haven't seen a movie in a long time and I am temped to go by myself. There is no practice today so maybe Ill catch a showing.....Okay I know its stupid but I want to see Happy Feet. I read online that it is about a dancing penguin.....anything with dance has got to be good.
My cats broke a vase this weekend as well.... it was a really special vase. It was given to me (sent to me) from Marty on my birthday. I felt really bad, and to clean it up was even worse. There was glass everywhere.
Paperwork, depositing money, solos, team kick, old friends.....
I wonder if its just me.......
I haven't seen a movie in a long time and I am temped to go by myself. There is no practice today so maybe Ill catch a showing.....Okay I know its stupid but I want to see Happy Feet. I read online that it is about a dancing penguin.....anything with dance has got to be good.
My cats broke a vase this weekend as well.... it was a really special vase. It was given to me (sent to me) from Marty on my birthday. I felt really bad, and to clean it up was even worse. There was glass everywhere.
Paperwork, depositing money, solos, team kick, old friends.....
I wonder if its just me.......
Weekend Follow Up
I just want to congratulate all the performers that danced in this past weekends shows.
To the folklorico dancers: I know how much time, dedication and band aids went into all of the performances in the last two weeks.....I want you to know that each and every one of you are special and congrats on a job well done....I look foward to your show in March!
To the UTPA Dance Ensemble: I cant even to begin to explain how much I miss dancing on stage....treasure your time together...Your passion for dance shines through when you perform....Thank you for a wonderful dance experience.
To the folklorico dancers: I know how much time, dedication and band aids went into all of the performances in the last two weeks.....I want you to know that each and every one of you are special and congrats on a job well done....I look foward to your show in March!
To the UTPA Dance Ensemble: I cant even to begin to explain how much I miss dancing on stage....treasure your time together...Your passion for dance shines through when you perform....Thank you for a wonderful dance experience.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
I have heard this before...
Check it out....I got an email from a fellow teacher a few days ago that was entitled "UPS Uniform Warning"...This is what it had in it:
UPS Uniforms
Government Warning regarding purchase of UPS uniforms:
There has been a huge purchase, $32,000 worth, of United Parcel Service (UPS) uniforms on eBay over the last 30 days. This could represent a serious threat as bogus drivers(terrorists) can drop off anything to anyone with deadly consequences! If you have ANY questions when a UPS driver appears at your door they should be able to furnish VALID I.D.
Additionally, if someone in a UPS uniform comes to make a drop off or pick up, make absolutely sure they are driving a UPS truck. UPS doesn't make deliveries or pickups in anything, except a company vehicle. If you have a problem, call your local law enforcement agency right away!
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! Tell everyone in your office, your family, your friends, etc. Make people aware so that we can prepare and/or avoid terrorist attacks on our people! Thank you for your time in reviewing this and PLEASE send to Everyone your list, even if they are friend or foe. We should all be aware!
At first I think that its sweet of the teacher to be thinking of other human beings ....but ...of course I don't take it seriously....its just junk mail in my box that I now have to delete.....Now this morning I get a new email from another teacher entitled : "Re: UPS Warning" Here is what it had in it:
Dear colleagues:
Sorry to further clog your inbox, but I wanted everyone to know that the "UPS Uniform warning" you received a copy of is a hoax. Here is an article about it from the website Snopes, which debunks urban legends:
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/upsuniforms.asp
I just think that these teachers have too much time on their hands to be sending emails back and forth regarding these silly things......Maybe its just that i am stressed and have too much paper work ....but then again....here I am ....writing about it in my BLOG....lol
The pep rally wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The girls did good and I got home early. Everything worked out. This weekend is going to be full of shows. On Saturday night, i am going to see the Folklorico Dance Concert here in La Joya. On Sunday, i am going to see the UTPA Dance Ensemble Concert. I miss dancing and watching shows is very different than performing in them, but I wish the performers all the best of luck and Merde.
My tia's surgery is today. My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family. She is the heart of a very big, very close knit family...and I can only pray that things go well.
Work is going well. I feel like I am actually accomplishing what needs to be done...ahead of schedule That's a big deal for me. Last night I went out to eat with my dad. One on one. My mom was playing" bunko", which I must remember to write about it someday. We went to Dai Tung, a Chinese place located a block from my house. I got a fortune cookie that said "Its better to complete a project late than never." So me. On a different note, as soon as we got seated, my dad recognized someone he knew. They said hi and the usual small talk followed. He then came back to his seat with me and we enjoyed our meal. I asked him about work (he recently got a new job) and he proceeded to tell me a story about his day. He and his boss took their secretaries out to eat at Logans (yeah our family eats out a lot) and got a very "new" waiter. Mistakes were made....some his fault ...some not. He was very apologetic and tried his best. Needless to say, my dad and this boss left a generous tip to help make his day better. He was very grateful and I listened intently to the "act of kindness", even if it is as simple as leaving a tip. It was at that moment that the waitress came up to us and said that the gentleman that was sitting at the other table paid for our meal and left. Neither one of us was expecting this and it was a very nice gesture. This made me think of a commercial I saw recently. I have no idea what they are promoting (my dad claims insurance) but it has acts of kindness that another persons witnesses and then in part performs his/her own random act of kindness...and goes full circle. Its just one of those feel good commercials. That night just reminded me of it. I wish I had a whole day to dedicate to write down all the lessons and stories my dad has shared with me over the years. He has a lot of common sense, street sense, if you will.
UPS Uniforms
Government Warning regarding purchase of UPS uniforms:
There has been a huge purchase, $32,000 worth, of United Parcel Service (UPS) uniforms on eBay over the last 30 days. This could represent a serious threat as bogus drivers(terrorists) can drop off anything to anyone with deadly consequences! If you have ANY questions when a UPS driver appears at your door they should be able to furnish VALID I.D.
Additionally, if someone in a UPS uniform comes to make a drop off or pick up, make absolutely sure they are driving a UPS truck. UPS doesn't make deliveries or pickups in anything, except a company vehicle. If you have a problem, call your local law enforcement agency right away!
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! Tell everyone in your office, your family, your friends, etc. Make people aware so that we can prepare and/or avoid terrorist attacks on our people! Thank you for your time in reviewing this and PLEASE send to Everyone your list, even if they are friend or foe. We should all be aware!
At first I think that its sweet of the teacher to be thinking of other human beings ....but ...of course I don't take it seriously....its just junk mail in my box that I now have to delete.....Now this morning I get a new email from another teacher entitled : "Re: UPS Warning" Here is what it had in it:
Dear colleagues:
Sorry to further clog your inbox, but I wanted everyone to know that the "UPS Uniform warning" you received a copy of is a hoax. Here is an article about it from the website Snopes, which debunks urban legends:
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/upsuniforms.asp
I just think that these teachers have too much time on their hands to be sending emails back and forth regarding these silly things......Maybe its just that i am stressed and have too much paper work ....but then again....here I am ....writing about it in my BLOG....lol
The pep rally wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The girls did good and I got home early. Everything worked out. This weekend is going to be full of shows. On Saturday night, i am going to see the Folklorico Dance Concert here in La Joya. On Sunday, i am going to see the UTPA Dance Ensemble Concert. I miss dancing and watching shows is very different than performing in them, but I wish the performers all the best of luck and Merde.
My tia's surgery is today. My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family. She is the heart of a very big, very close knit family...and I can only pray that things go well.
Work is going well. I feel like I am actually accomplishing what needs to be done...ahead of schedule That's a big deal for me. Last night I went out to eat with my dad. One on one. My mom was playing" bunko", which I must remember to write about it someday. We went to Dai Tung, a Chinese place located a block from my house. I got a fortune cookie that said "Its better to complete a project late than never." So me. On a different note, as soon as we got seated, my dad recognized someone he knew. They said hi and the usual small talk followed. He then came back to his seat with me and we enjoyed our meal. I asked him about work (he recently got a new job) and he proceeded to tell me a story about his day. He and his boss took their secretaries out to eat at Logans (yeah our family eats out a lot) and got a very "new" waiter. Mistakes were made....some his fault ...some not. He was very apologetic and tried his best. Needless to say, my dad and this boss left a generous tip to help make his day better. He was very grateful and I listened intently to the "act of kindness", even if it is as simple as leaving a tip. It was at that moment that the waitress came up to us and said that the gentleman that was sitting at the other table paid for our meal and left. Neither one of us was expecting this and it was a very nice gesture. This made me think of a commercial I saw recently. I have no idea what they are promoting (my dad claims insurance) but it has acts of kindness that another persons witnesses and then in part performs his/her own random act of kindness...and goes full circle. Its just one of those feel good commercials. That night just reminded me of it. I wish I had a whole day to dedicate to write down all the lessons and stories my dad has shared with me over the years. He has a lot of common sense, street sense, if you will.
Moody
Ok girls ....you can relate to this. Why is it that somedays....u just feel like crying....that every action, word, even commercial, makes u want to sink back in bed and sleep the feeling off?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Coming Up
There is a "last" football game coming up for La Joya. For this one, I will be alone. Its hard enough to run a team of 57 girls with two directors, and to do it alone is even harder. In addition to the game there is also a community pep rally on Thursday. This means late work nights on Thursday and Friday. Hopefully this will be our last game. Not that it matters though, because I just found out that another drill team obligation is to perform at basketball games as well. This was supposed to be our time to focus on Competition. That is what matters to me. That is why im a director.
Like every normal person, I have good days and bad days. Today seems like a good day. I don't have practice today...so I need to figure out what to do with that time. Gotta make it count. I already scheduled my day off next week....im going to stay to teach someone her solo. So this might be the last one for a long time.
...........UPDATE: From the time it took me to go to lunch and back ....I found something I need to go to. Every year the fine arts department gives us a very special thanksgiving banquet. All the fine arts teachers from the entire district will attend, so this gives me a chance to see some old friends. After that I have some important paperwork that I really need to complete. This will complete my day. Not the best, but at least now I have something to look foward to. I was speaking with my director of dance today and he was explaining all the upcoming dance obligations. It sounds like this next year is going to be a handful. Its complicated to explain but here it goes: There are three high schools in La Joya. Two of them are 9th and 10th grade campuses and one senior school. All of them contribute to one team as far as football, basketball, track, and all other sports. This means that everyone is a Coyote, and all the drill teams in the district are Jewelettes. There are 6 middle schools. Next year...the High School will split and a new mascot with new colors will have to be named. This brings up a lot of problems as far as money, uniforms, and names for the rest of the schools. Pretty much, the district is going to have its very own make over. As I was listening to all the problems...and all I could think was ...."I can't wait".
Like every normal person, I have good days and bad days. Today seems like a good day. I don't have practice today...so I need to figure out what to do with that time. Gotta make it count. I already scheduled my day off next week....im going to stay to teach someone her solo. So this might be the last one for a long time.
...........UPDATE: From the time it took me to go to lunch and back ....I found something I need to go to. Every year the fine arts department gives us a very special thanksgiving banquet. All the fine arts teachers from the entire district will attend, so this gives me a chance to see some old friends. After that I have some important paperwork that I really need to complete. This will complete my day. Not the best, but at least now I have something to look foward to. I was speaking with my director of dance today and he was explaining all the upcoming dance obligations. It sounds like this next year is going to be a handful. Its complicated to explain but here it goes: There are three high schools in La Joya. Two of them are 9th and 10th grade campuses and one senior school. All of them contribute to one team as far as football, basketball, track, and all other sports. This means that everyone is a Coyote, and all the drill teams in the district are Jewelettes. There are 6 middle schools. Next year...the High School will split and a new mascot with new colors will have to be named. This brings up a lot of problems as far as money, uniforms, and names for the rest of the schools. Pretty much, the district is going to have its very own make over. As I was listening to all the problems...and all I could think was ...."I can't wait".
Why I Teach
Every teacher has a special student he or she favors....It is moments like the following story that is the reason I teach. It was sent to me in an email today....but I remember reading it in one of my Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further The letter explained that sh e was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For those of you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further The letter explained that sh e was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For those of you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
Monday, November 13, 2006
Never a dull moment
I try to surround myself with lots of things to do. At the same time, I find myself wishing I had more time to myself. Confusing, I know...Just hear me out. Work starts at 8:30...Which is great for me, because im one of those people that can never get up on time. Since we start so late....this means we also finish late. If school finishes late...then that also means that afterschool practices run much later than the norm. On most days I usually get home around 8:00. On Thursdays, I get home around 8:30 and on Fridays I don't see my bed until 12:30. Its a good thing I have a housemate, or the only beings that would be living at my house would be Jasper and Bella.
In between those times, I like to read, watch tv, and talk on the phone with Marty. And Sleep. Im not one of those people that need the full 8 hours of sleep, but eventually it catches up to me and I enjoy a nap from time to time. So I assume that once im asleep ...I'll stay asleep. Check out the events that happened earlier this week....
Time: 2:30 a.m. ~~~~> Something in the house crashes....(I was actually pretty surprised that I woke up, It means that im not as a light sleeper as I thought) I drag myself out of bed and open my door (I sleep with my door closed for various reasons) and find Jasper (My orange kitty) smelling something on the floor. At first, I couldn't see anything....Until....the smell hits me. (For a house warming party, my cousin gave me a jar of scented oil with wood sticks that absorb the oil and leave the house with the aroma) Yea, he knocked it off the kitchen counter ( A place where I thought he couldn't get to). There I am, 2:30 in the morning and i am sweeping up the glass (that has flown everywhere) and moping up the oil (where I conviently run out of floor cleaner) Lovely....I don't make it back in bed until 3:30....where now im wide awake.
That happened on Tues. night.....Funny because on Monday ....My parents were over at my house giving me a lesson on "How to Bbq" and my mom commented on how much she liked the scented oil. She never touched it. I told her the story and she said she gave it the "evil eye." Yes, our family believes in stuff like that. She claims that I was sick a lot when I was little because people who admired me, never touched me. Yes, I know...weird. She also claims that for some reason ...."its" really strong in her. I dont know how many earrings and stuff has broken around her, right after she states how much she likes it.
Anyway, I had a whole week off from late night practices...and now its back to reality.....we have a game coming up, and a pep rally on Thurs. Which means practice practice practice. Its not so bad. The students make it worth it. Also in a week, Marty comes to Texas, which I have been looking foward to for months. My sister (who has been spending her semester in NY) and My cousin (who has been in Iraq) also are coming down for Thanksgiving.
Im trying to read another book right now...but its not going so well.....The last book I read really made me upset. Im hoping that it doesnt have any influence on this next one...but I cant help it. The previous two books were great. I recently read Twilight and New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. They were GREAT! I can wait for the next one to come out. But Dear John by Nicholas Sparks (which by the way is my favorite author) really left me.....uhhh...I can't even find the words....It didn't have the "happy ending" I am used to. Granted it did make me laugh from time to time ....and the writing was wonderful.....and I could relate to a lot of the "long distance" feelings right now....its just....I didn't like it. Im a hopeless romantic....I cant help it.
I guess thats enough for one day.....I still have a lot to write....funny because ....for a long time I kept typing and then erasing and typing again....now I can't stop....Thanks Marty :)
In between those times, I like to read, watch tv, and talk on the phone with Marty. And Sleep. Im not one of those people that need the full 8 hours of sleep, but eventually it catches up to me and I enjoy a nap from time to time. So I assume that once im asleep ...I'll stay asleep. Check out the events that happened earlier this week....
Time: 2:30 a.m. ~~~~> Something in the house crashes....(I was actually pretty surprised that I woke up, It means that im not as a light sleeper as I thought) I drag myself out of bed and open my door (I sleep with my door closed for various reasons) and find Jasper (My orange kitty) smelling something on the floor. At first, I couldn't see anything....Until....the smell hits me. (For a house warming party, my cousin gave me a jar of scented oil with wood sticks that absorb the oil and leave the house with the aroma) Yea, he knocked it off the kitchen counter ( A place where I thought he couldn't get to). There I am, 2:30 in the morning and i am sweeping up the glass (that has flown everywhere) and moping up the oil (where I conviently run out of floor cleaner) Lovely....I don't make it back in bed until 3:30....where now im wide awake.
That happened on Tues. night.....Funny because on Monday ....My parents were over at my house giving me a lesson on "How to Bbq" and my mom commented on how much she liked the scented oil. She never touched it. I told her the story and she said she gave it the "evil eye." Yes, our family believes in stuff like that. She claims that I was sick a lot when I was little because people who admired me, never touched me. Yes, I know...weird. She also claims that for some reason ...."its" really strong in her. I dont know how many earrings and stuff has broken around her, right after she states how much she likes it.
Anyway, I had a whole week off from late night practices...and now its back to reality.....we have a game coming up, and a pep rally on Thurs. Which means practice practice practice. Its not so bad. The students make it worth it. Also in a week, Marty comes to Texas, which I have been looking foward to for months. My sister (who has been spending her semester in NY) and My cousin (who has been in Iraq) also are coming down for Thanksgiving.
Im trying to read another book right now...but its not going so well.....The last book I read really made me upset. Im hoping that it doesnt have any influence on this next one...but I cant help it. The previous two books were great. I recently read Twilight and New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. They were GREAT! I can wait for the next one to come out. But Dear John by Nicholas Sparks (which by the way is my favorite author) really left me.....uhhh...I can't even find the words....It didn't have the "happy ending" I am used to. Granted it did make me laugh from time to time ....and the writing was wonderful.....and I could relate to a lot of the "long distance" feelings right now....its just....I didn't like it. Im a hopeless romantic....I cant help it.
I guess thats enough for one day.....I still have a lot to write....funny because ....for a long time I kept typing and then erasing and typing again....now I can't stop....Thanks Marty :)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
A First
So this is really strange. First of all, I have a very special person in my life who has a blog. I enjoy reading his Blogs all the time. I have always wondered how in the end he feels about it. I used to write in a journal, and I always felt better at the end. Any sort of stress, anger, happiness I was feeling at the time, I put it in the book. I always often looked back and it seemed to make more sense after reading it later. Then it would get lost, or I would misplace it. Im not a computer genius but I do know some stuff. Online journals always seem so "out there". Everyone can read them and make comments on your life. To me that is totally intimidating. So now here I am. Im testing it out. Dont get me wrong....Im very nervous. Ive been told that I write as if im having a conversation with someone. Thus, the "...". This shows that im thinking, pausing, or changing a subject. It lets me organize my thoughts, if you will, and hopefully makes it easier on other people to read. So if it is bothersome ......then don't read it.
I work at a High School in Texas. South Texas. Everyday of my life has events or drama in it. I love it. I hate it. Everyone in the world has good days and bad days. I know this. If it wasn't for the bad then the good wouldn't be as good. Right? That is a quote but forgive me ...I cannot remember who said it. I promise I will find out. Im 25 years old. The subject I teach is Dance. Thats right dance. I get paid to teach what I love. I wasn't one of those kids who got to dance at an early age. I sort of started late. I started when I was in Middle School....From what I have been told ...I was terrible. My Middle School drill team director once told me that she did not even remember me my first year. Funny huh? I guess it was better to be invisible then to be bad....but never-the-less I tried out for officer the next year and along with my very best friends...we were officers and thought we rulled the school....or at least the team....lol. That is how I started dancing.
Many stories that happened afterwards I will probably share with you later. They have influenced me to the person and dancer that I am now. This is my second year as a dance teacher. I started at a Middle school. I loved it. Not my first year. In the fall of 2006, I was finally feeling like I was "where I belonged". Then in September, I had to make a choice. To move up to the high school. That is or was another dream.....to be at a high school level. For Fine Arts teachers...its like a promotion. I had two weeks to say goodbye to the people and students that I had come to love. Yes, students ....I love you! I doubt that any of them will be able to find my website ....but for those computer savy students ....hi.
I have spoken a lot to the person who has his blog. He is my boyfriend, and I thank him for giving me the courage to start this. I want it to be just that. A record of events and feelings that happen in my life. When I was a first year teacher, a piece of advice that was passed down to me was to write eveything down in a book. It was meant only the first year ...so that we as teachers would never forget the most important year of our life. I regret that I never did it, but hopefullly I might be able to catch up.
There it is. My first entry. Nothing about today has been said....but I still have time.
I work at a High School in Texas. South Texas. Everyday of my life has events or drama in it. I love it. I hate it. Everyone in the world has good days and bad days. I know this. If it wasn't for the bad then the good wouldn't be as good. Right? That is a quote but forgive me ...I cannot remember who said it. I promise I will find out. Im 25 years old. The subject I teach is Dance. Thats right dance. I get paid to teach what I love. I wasn't one of those kids who got to dance at an early age. I sort of started late. I started when I was in Middle School....From what I have been told ...I was terrible. My Middle School drill team director once told me that she did not even remember me my first year. Funny huh? I guess it was better to be invisible then to be bad....but never-the-less I tried out for officer the next year and along with my very best friends...we were officers and thought we rulled the school....or at least the team....lol. That is how I started dancing.
Many stories that happened afterwards I will probably share with you later. They have influenced me to the person and dancer that I am now. This is my second year as a dance teacher. I started at a Middle school. I loved it. Not my first year. In the fall of 2006, I was finally feeling like I was "where I belonged". Then in September, I had to make a choice. To move up to the high school. That is or was another dream.....to be at a high school level. For Fine Arts teachers...its like a promotion. I had two weeks to say goodbye to the people and students that I had come to love. Yes, students ....I love you! I doubt that any of them will be able to find my website ....but for those computer savy students ....hi.
I have spoken a lot to the person who has his blog. He is my boyfriend, and I thank him for giving me the courage to start this. I want it to be just that. A record of events and feelings that happen in my life. When I was a first year teacher, a piece of advice that was passed down to me was to write eveything down in a book. It was meant only the first year ...so that we as teachers would never forget the most important year of our life. I regret that I never did it, but hopefullly I might be able to catch up.
There it is. My first entry. Nothing about today has been said....but I still have time.
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