Lifted

What can I say? A lot has happened since I last wrote. I think my students were presenting their final projects if I am right. Well, like I said some were great and some were...not so great. The weekend was not so great either. I did get to see the new pirates movie....only it was very ironic. You know...first and last kinda thing. Well if you know me, you know what I mean. Yea, I told a "boy" how I was feeling, and of course it wasn't easy, but he took it well. Anyways.....I got laundry done, and finished creating my final exam for Monday. Monday and Tuesday are dedicated for exams and Wednesday and Thursday are half-days. The week has flown by. Monday I got a totally random text out of the blue. It was nice to hear from my "old friend". That same night I watched The Miss Universe Pageant. I got to see Miss USA fall on her butt. At first I was cracking up with laughter. I even would rewind my DVR to see it again and again ....and again. My mom even called and was doing the same thing. (By the way ...she has been the only one to sign my new guestbook...and I want to take this time to thank her....I'm glad that you signed first, Mom....it means a lot to me :) and so....it wasn't until I heard people boo-ing that I knew the audience had taken it too far. Sure, if there is ever a one time in a girls life where she must walk with out falling down, it is definitely the Miss Universe pageant, but come on....that is embarrassment alone. When she was giving her answer to the question the audience was boo-ing and chanting for Mexico. That was rude! Yes, she probably shouldn't have made it to the top 5, but to boo her. Unbelievable.
*Dinner and Drinks*
So yea....one more day of school left. I can now enjoy all the things I have planned for the summer.
Not to be mean, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel more at ease. I feel calm and relaxed. I'm not sure if it was because of an old person leaving my life or an old one coming back. Again I must say this.....This blog is mine. Mine and mine alone, where I can be completely honest with myself. If anyone has a problem with it...please don't bring it to my attention....keep it to yourself...you might not like what you will hear in return.

Lists

I have been making a lot of lists lately. I have tons of things to do before the school year is up. I have been trying to put them in order of priority. You know ....the important ones first. Somehow, I just can seem to do the important ones. I turned in over 5 thousand dollars yesterday to the bookkeeper at school. I was walking around with all that money. It wasn't mine of course...it was the drill team's. That was one of the main things on my to-do list.

My students are presenting their final projects today. So far they have been very interesting. I look forward to the rest of the day.

Trying

I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday. I had never really understood those people who spend hours there just reading and studying. I would just think that they would buy the book and go home. I was supposed to meet someone there but she was running late so I ordered a coffee and started looking around. Afterwards instead of going home, I stayed and planted myself at a table with 3 other people. I have been wanting to buy a dream book for some time now. My mom has a really cool one where you can write things down. I looked for one like that but I couldn't find one....so I grabbed a bunch and focused on three of my dreams so that I can compare the books and see which one I wanted to buy.

I never really understood the saying, "Never judge a book by its cover". I assume that people don't take it literally and refer to it as not judging a person by their appearance. Well, the saying also works literally. The larger books seemed to not have as much information as the smaller ones. The ones with pictures, seemed to have a lot less information too. It's almost as if they were compensating.

There was a book that tied every dream to some kind of spiritual experience. There was a book that was very negative. Every dream meant something bad. Oddly enough, the dreams I was researching meant something different in every book. I guess there is no telling what a dream really means but it is fun to look. I ended up choosing 2 different books. One is a Dream Dictionary and the other is a Handbook of Dreams. The handbook has a page to copy and keep by your bedside to help you remember your dream later. I plan to do this. I don't know why but I have been interested in that sort of stuff lately.

I have many things to do before the school year is over. I really need to get on that list before I have to stay up all night. Payday is Friday.

I love you....I wish you wouldn't ask so much from me.

"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence." - Goncourt

Countdown

Only 8 more days of school left. One more Monday, one more week of lunch duty, one more paycheck, one more final to write! The only downfall is that I now have to pack up all my "teacher" stuff and take it home with me. I feel like a nomad packing up my stuff every year. Most teachers just lock their stuff in a closet, a desk, or a storage room, but since I am moving once again, I can't do that. It isn't so bad, considering I never really moved in. I pretty much just have my desk supplies, and folders to pack up. I never decorated. Now, I guess I am grateful for that.

I got overloaded with good news and bad news over the weekend. Seemed everyone I talked to had their own drama.

My sister came down for the week. Not sure how long she is going to stay, but it will be the longest period of time I see her before she leaves for N.Y.C. and London. I had a dream that I was getting on a plane to Mexico and then to Europe, and when I got to Mexico I realized I didn't have my passport. I had never received it. Ya, it was a strange dream....I have to go look up what it means. Maybe, it means that my passport is in the mail.

I gave my students a final project in which they have to split up into partners and make up a dance. They can choose whatever music they want. I gave this assignment in middle school but in groups of 4, and they were very creative. So far in the high school, I have mixed feelings. Some students are trying very hard and others are just not taking it seriously. I wish I could find some way of getting it into their heads that even though it is a "project" it counts just as much as a test grade.

Why is it that students think they can skip in my room? Maybe they think that since I look like a student, that I also think like one? I yell, I threaten, I lock doors, I just don't know what to do anymore. Good thing the Countdown is Here.

No, no no no no no no no no!!!

I feel so sad today! I watched both Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy season finale's last night. Boy I was hit hard. I stayed at home instead of hitting the gym. I can honestly say that the gym would have been a better choice. Why did things have to end the way they did? I felt so hurt, so betrayed...and it's not even REAL!

First Ugly Betty....I knew the read head had to be a whore! Sorry Charlie lover's but, come on....red head...what else can I say. It's just too bad that stupid Betty didn't just go straight to the airport which is what Drew really would have done! No, instead she went home to What?...Change shirts? What for? Betty will always look like Betty. I guess you had to add the drama....oh and don't even get me started on the whole "man" thing to do in a bad situation. He should have stayed put. Now people are hurt, when they didn't have to be. Amanda! I love how they made her more important all of a sudden. But....it's kinda creepy if you think about it.....Fey's daughter who's the father? And if he is who we all think he is then that makes Amanda and Daniel half brother and sister......ewwww!

And Grey's! The whole Burke/Christina thing. I know she needs to be set free and everything...but I felt so bad for her when she was trying to get out of her wedding dress. So does that mean that they are single? He moved out. His things are gone. I feel so bad for both of them. I wanted Callie and George to break up. Her trying to save her marriage by having a baby is just so pathetic! My heart hurts for Izzie. She finally told George her real feelings but in a way I just think that it's infatuation. How can she really love him, when not too long ago she was in love with Denny? I know it was only one season but geez. Poor George not passing his test. Someone had to fail. Meridith and Derek! They will never have a fighting chance. Ever. It's not fair...this whole time I was saying Derek's a jerk, Derek's a jerk. But when he said that she was the one and that he couldn't leave her.....Why does she have to base her happiness on whether or not someone else is happy? Why couldn't she just say marriage or no marriage I'm in this. The Clencher....if Derek ends up hooking up with Meridith's half sister I will promise I will stop watching. I don't have a good vibe from her. Lexi. Although I wanted to Alex to give Ava a reason to stay, he really shouldn't have because she is after all a patient and married.

Lesson learned: I watch too much t.v.

Room to Grow

I finally replanted my desert rose. It grew four buds and they all blossomed at the same time. I had the stupid plant for almost two months and it never grew taller or had any buds. I replanted it and two days later ...BAM! It must have been the soil I used or something. Maybe it just needed room to grow.

I have been feeling stressed at work. I got observed on Friday during 5th period. We were supposed to be observed way back when, but I guess they got tied up and finally got around to observing me. The good thing is that I have the Assistant Principal that I work most with. Hopefully it all goes well. My cousin is getting married in November. She picked out the bridesmaids dresses. It is not something that I would have picked out but she has very good taste. I saw a picture of it and it looks very clean and simple. I need to lose weight to get into it, but I look forward to wearing it.

My ankle has been bothering me since last week. I think it is a pinch nerve or something. I didn't roll on it or twist it, but I am sensing pain like i did. My mom advised me to get it massaged out. I think I will give that a try.

Friday was our Dance Banquet. It was hard to sit in the front and pretend that everything was fine and dandy. It was a very emotional banquet. Some people are leaving, so that made the kids and parents very sad. I feel their pain.

Saturday was Jason's banquet. I had one of my student's performing in it. She was very happy to see me there. The night didn't end very well. I got home late and was very tired the next day.

Mother's Day was this past Sunday. I got my mom a beautiful watch that I knew she would like. I also got her some jewelry from a student on campus. At the mall, there was a stand selling "wood roses". I got her two dozen. They smell delicious. I think I will go back and get some more. I won a drawing for a Mary Kay cosmetic make over and a $25 gift certificate. That should be fun. I usually get lucky with drawings.

Only 13 more days of school left!

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. ~ Fortune Cookie

Its official....I will be moving schools once again. Just when I was making friends and getting adjusted too. It takes me about a year to settle in and right when I feel like I am doing good, I get moved. I have to admit, the first time I moved It was my choice. It was a pressured choice but it was mine. Now I am being moved again. This time - not by choice. Next year I will be working at Juarez-Lincoln High School. I was notified today. Things at work have been awful for the past 2 weeks, with the exception of a great Thursday. This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Funny thing is.....everything that I have been receiving has the Jimmy Carter logo on it...or a pic of the school or something like that. This years "presents" can be summed up in one word: cups!

I know I haven't been writing like I used to. I had so many entries in April....I don't know what happened to May.

Thursday May 3rd

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
You can effectively make everything seem better today, no matter what's going on beneath the surface. Your confidence can ease the tensions for a while, but you may not be able to get past the underlying issue until you are willing to tackle it head-on. You might as well face the music sooner, for it will only be more challenging later.

More Discoveries

I think I like my half smile more than my full smile. When I smile, I squint my eyes and they disappear. I also get dimples. There are two, but one you can barely see. To me, it makes my face look fat. LOL. Maybe this is the reason people say I look young. You usually see children with dimples ...but then they grow out of them. It is said that the more symmetrical you are the more beautiful you are to others. This being said, It must make you think of a lot of famous people that automatically disprove this theory: Cindy Crawford, Marylin Monroe, Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria(makeup artists always want to cover up a scar on her left eyebrow but she never lets them!) just to name a few. What really makes a woman beautiful? Is it how she carries herself? Is it her personality? Self-esteem? How much does that play a part? Sure you can pay for beauty. You can tuck, suck, fill, and plump all you want....but does that change your self image? Did you know that 95% of high school students wish to change something about their appearance? That's a pretty high number. I wish that I could be a better role model to my students. I wish I could help them with their self-esteem problems. I live in a dance world, which is very different than the real world. Here, appearance is everything. If you wear glasses, then you are pressured to wear contacts because it is unheard of ...performing in glasses. I had a professor tell me that "fat people don't look good onstage". I wish I could have slapped him. It's people like him that give dancers eating disorders. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not for eating like there is no tomorrow, I promote healthy, strong dancers. I just feel that people should be more accepting of dancers who are not all "Balanchine ready". How thin a dancer is by no means gives away what she can do.

I had a really good Body Flow class. I really like it. Dance recital is coming up. My students have been practicing. I feel like they are ready, but they don't. They are nervous. It's nice to know how much students want to perform. It sort of gives my job...purpose.